Hello December
by Kazo Sakamari
Summary: Christmas Day...and James and Sirius are finally safe.
1. How Will Peter Pass?

My third attempt at a Marauder's advent calender story thing! I make no promises that this will actually work out how it's supposed to this year...but I will try!

So...let me know what you think of these little snippets and if you've got any good ideas for a holiday themed Marauder story I'd love to hear them!

Can't wait for holiday break to start!

* * *

"So what do you think?"

Remus looks up from his textbook to examine the extremely detailed diagram of Sirius' latest prank idea, wishing that Sirius put this much effort into his assignments.

"I think," he sucks in a long breath, "that this is stupid."

Sirius pouts, eyes still glittering with mischief because he know Remus doesn't mean it.

"But why Moony?" He whines, encouraging Remus.

"Because. Exams are only _days_ away. You haven't done _any_ studying. Peter is near tears because he thinks he's going to fail, which by the way you and James have done _nothing_ about. We have no time to dedicate to something this complicated. Even _you_ can't create the spells needed to do _that_ before break starts. And where would we even get crushed alabaster this time of the year?!"

Sirius bounced up and down in his chair, smiling brightly at that fact that Remus had actually read his plan.

"Why are you still smiling?"

Shaking his head, Sirius chuckled.

"Okay…revised idea. Would you do it if I told you that I had already created the spell, that I have a source for crushed alabaster," he paused for dramatic effect, flipping his hair out of his eyes, "_and_…that I can guarantee that even if Pete doesn't study a lick that he will pass. _No matter what_."

Remus frowned, glancing back down at the piece of parchment in front of him. He licked his lips slowly.

"Take out the pudding part and shorten the time span of the charms to one day."

Tugging the parchment back Sirius looked it over.

"Five days."

"Three."

"Done."

Remus rolled his eyes, "you put way too much effort into these plans."

"Oi, there's a reasons the Marauder's are famous."

Staring blankly at his textbook Remus cocked his head.

"Just out of curiosity…how are you going to guarantee that Peter will pass?"

Sirius laughed, "Because you and Prongs are going to force feed him every damn fact he needs to know to pass, and besides, I have my ways." He winked and tucked a stray lock of hair behind his ear as Remus got a sinking feeling in his stomach.

"Sirius…"

"Don't worry your pretty little head about it Moony, now what do you think about this here?" He asked, pointing to the neatly draw diagram. "I'm thinking we'll have to get some of the ghosts, or maybe a few first years to help out."

Remus snapped his textbook shut and nodded.

"I know a couple firsties that owe me a few favors to not assigning them detention."

"Perfect, so we'll have to get going on the potions either tonight or tomorrow."

"I can start tonight if you can get me the leeches…"

* * *

What do you guys think? Review? Excited about the holiday break?


	2. Gingerbread?

Thanks a tons for the reviews and the ideas, this one is a bit late...but it's here!

Please leave a review and keep the ideas coming!

* * *

James kicked Remus under the table for the fifth time that evening, Remus was starting to wonder if it was an accident or not.

"Ow, fuck Prongs."

"Sorry." James answered, not sounding sorry at all. Glancing at his friends notes Remus sighed, seeing that James' notes weren't notes at all but scratchy Quidditch plays that jumped to life when James poked them with his wand like he was doing now. An impressive feat of magic seeing as they'd only been sitting in the Library for an hour and normally it took a good day to make even the shittest of drawings animated, but still. It wasn't rewriting his charms notes like he was supposed to be doing.

Remus looked over at Sirius, who was making no attempt to study, no attempt to even _look_ like he was studying, and was instead flirting with a Ravenclaw girl who had to be at least a year older than him at the next table.

Peter at the least, was trying, butchering the pronunciation of the spells he was supposed to be memorizing under his breath.

And then…because why not, Lily Evans chose that specific moment to enter the Library, a thick dusty book under her arm.

"I, uh…gotta take a piss." James said, abandoning his Quidditch plays as a large ink blot started to form near the opposing teams goal posts, and started toward Lily's direction.

Seeing his opportunity at freedom Sirius slipped away as well and in mere seconds Remus could make out the sound of girls laughter and Sirius' _I-want-to-bed-you_ voice, used specifically for flirting and nothing else.

"Uhh…Remus?"

"Yes Peter?"

"Do you think we could…take a break?"

"Sure Peter."

Giving up completely Remus slumped in his chair, letting his eyes slide closed, thinking of how nice it was going to be once exams were over.

* * *

"Oi, wake up mate." Sirius chuckled, breath hot and tickling in Remus' ear.

"Wha…?"

"You feel asleep." James said, pointing out the obvious as Remus blinked slowly.

James was once again doodle quidditch plays, his hair looking far more rumpled than when he had left, Sirius had lipstick smudged on his cheek, and Peter had a stack of gingerbread cookies and was looking quite content.

"How long was I asleep?"

"About half an hour."

"Do you think Evans is going home for Christmas?" James asked, and Remus nodded, realizing that his efforts to study were fruitless now.

"You know what we should do?" Peter said, crumbs all over his notes as he delivered the killing blow to Remus' study schedule.

"What?"

"We should make gingerbread houses."

"_Yes_." James and Sirius answered immediately.

"It can be a competition."

"Whoever wins get's to plan the next prank."

"We need a judge."

"Marpie?"

"Fuck no." James snapped, "that's practically cheating, that house elf is in love with you."

"It can't be any of the other students then either, you'd bribe them half way to the Bahamas."

"I would not-" James started, though they all knew he would when Remus cut him off.

"McGonagall."

The other three boys quieted for a moment before breaking out in gigantic grins.

"Yes."

* * *

"Well, I would normally assign you all detentions for this, but I don't think that would help currently." Professor McGonagall said slowly, lips thin in a desperate attempt to suppress a smile.

"I think you're probably right Professor."

"Shut up James, McGonagall's _always_ right." Sirius retorted, sticking his tongue out.

Remus ignored them both, "so what's the verdict Professor?"

Doing a slow walk by McGonagall smiled, _finally_.

"Hmm, firstly some notes." She pushed her glasses up her nose, "Mr. Black, you're attention to detail is superb and while the final result is stunning it's lacking in scale and volume." She said, noting Sirius' gorgeous and lavishly decorated gingerbread house that was, yes, much smaller than the others.

"Mr. Potter, you're house is of good proportions yet the construction is sloppy and the effort isn't showing through, but the design is wonderful." She noted, handing him back the sloppy gingerbread house blueprint he had created earlier.

"Mr. Lupin, everything here is to scale, it's well made and carefully done and tastefully decorated but it is plain. There is no charm here, no magic, so to say."

She moved on to the final gingerbread house.

"Mr. Pettigrew." She paused, taking it all in, "you're gingerbread house is the winner."

"What?!" James nearly fell out of his chair in shock and Sirius pouted, even Remus felt slightly jipped by this decision.

"How?!"

"Because Mr. Potter, Mr. Pettigrew here has added an element that all of you seem to have forgotten. He's added joy, look at this house." She said, gesturing to Peter's slightly tilted house, with icing everywhere. "He enjoyed himself making this, he didn't care if he won or not, he had fun. This wasn't a competition to him, it was just holiday spirit, something the rest of you are lacking apparently."

James had rolled his eyes and Sirius and Remus shared a smirk.

"Oh just you wait Professor, we've got holiday spirit alright." Sirius winked and McGonagall's lips twitched.

"I look forward to it Mr. Black, now I would suggest that you enjoy your creations before they go to waste and make sure to give the timed transformation spells another look before the exam next week."

"Yes ma'ma!" They coursed, each grabbing their own gingerbread houses and parading out of her office and all the way back to the tower, Peter happily munching on his house already.

"See, I told you guys. It's all in the cookies."

* * *

So...what'd you think? Any ideas for me?


	3. The Snowball Incident of 1975

Day three and I'm still here! Hahaha it doesn't seem that impressive but trust me, it is :P

So please leave a review and tell me what you think!

I'm always in need of good ideas!

* * *

"So I was thinking about getting my mum a-"

Snow exploded in a halo around James' head as he whipped around catching Sirius in the act.

"Why you fucker…"

"Gotta watch your back Jamie!" Sirius cackled, dancing out of the way of his friend's snowball.

Remus crossed his arms, "Come on guys, we've got to get to class." He turned to leave them behind when all of a sudden he felt something cold slam into his back.

"Peter!"

"What?! Sirius started it!"

Watching the exchange James grabbed a handful of snow and lobbed at Peter.

"SNOWBALL FIGHT!" He bellowed, sprinting away from Sirius who was in hot pursuit, ignorant to what he had just started.

A passing Ravenclaw girl saw her chance and with brilliant aim, nabbed them both in the head.

In barely minutes the courtyard had erupted into chaos as every person with close reach to snow was simultaneously getting pummeled and on the attack at the same time. Remus was hiding behind a tree looking for the quickest route of escape in a desperate attempt to make it the the Potions review session, but there was no area that was safe. It was a war zone out there.

James and Sirius had taken the initiative and introduced magic into the game, and were now nearly out of sight at the edge of the forest, wands out.

Harder, faster snowballs, invisible snowballs, heat seeking snowballs, multiplying snowballs that once they hit you would bury you under a mountain of snow. If James and Sirius could think of it, they could do it, and they were most certainly doing it.

Peter had long since disappeared into the haze of flying snow and right now Remus was far more worried about a group of snow covered Hufflepuff girls who were getting uncomfortably close to his hiding spot.

"Oi, Remus." A voice whispered and Remus jumped.

"Peter?"

"Over here Remus."

Remus turned around, squinting for a moment before he saw a large white bush wave at him.

"What…"

"Come here, quick!"

Taking a tentative step forward Remus watched in awe as an arm appeared from the white bush and dragged him in.

"What is happening…"

Peter, now fully visible smiled brightly.

"I gave up on the whole, eye for an eye snowball thing."

"I..uh, yeah."

"So I went for a more offensive route."

"I see that." Reaching out Remus tapped the white thing. "Is this ice?"

"Yup, I just kept freezing the snow they threw at me."

"Right."

They huddled together for another minute or so before Peter asked "where are James and Sirius?"

* * *

James and Sirius, were in fact waging a two man war against what seemed like the entire Hogwarts population.

James was in charge of snowballs, Sirius with the aim. Together they worked as a seamless team, what looked like waves of snowballs flying out of the treeline where they had set up camp.

"We're running out of snow Sirius!" James yelled over the wind and screaming of other students as the snow in the near area was already gone, spots of dead grass showing through.

"We'll have to move!"

"We can't! They'll get us if we do!"

"Well then…I guess we'll just have to go out with a bang!"

Sirius spared a glance at James.

"It's been a pleasure Potter."

"Same to you Black."

* * *

That day was forever known as the Snowball Incident of 1975.

Neither Sirius nor James ever reveled the spells they used, and so far no Professor has been able to figure it out.

The mystery goes unsolved, yet the effects are still felt to this day as some students have seen unusual scenes of a stag and massive dog made of snow parading the grounds on this day.

* * *

On a side note, not a single Marauder made it class that day.

* * *

So...review? And just a thank you to Dr Crazy Glasses for this idea, I hope you like it!


	4. The Devil in Disguise

This one is short...mainly because I have an exam tomorrow and that thought is terrifying. So basically I'm freaking out over here haha :P

Anyways...leave a review! Even if it's just to cheer me up maybe...?

* * *

James pushed his glasses further up his nose even though he knew, he just knew they would like down in a matter of seconds. The thought was infuriating and he was honestly considering just going blind if it meant he wouldn't have to deal with this...this...atrocity.

Normally James didn't mind his glasses sliding down his nose. Normally he barely even noticed it, and the few times he did he thought he looked quite sexy, intelligently pushing them back up.

But you have to understand...he had been reading his transfiguration textbook for the past three hours and in the last thirty minutes he had made it through five pages. It was, frustrating, to say the least.

Sirius, sitting cross legged on the floor, hunched over an infinitely long roll of parchment let out a rather dog like sound of pain, as if he was dying right then and there on the dormitory floor. A second later his quill 'magically' slammed into the paper and broke. He pulled another one out of his bag and started the diagram he was copying again.

The next hour passed in silence.

"Fuck this!"

Remus stood up, throwing his arithmancy book across the room. Looking up with disinterest and ink on his cheek James pushed his glasses up his nose with a grimace.

"I think we need a cocoa break." Peter muttered.

"With extra marshmallows." Sirius added darkly.

The other two marauders nodded in agreement.

"I hate exams."

"Don't we all Prongs, don't we all."

* * *

And yeah...those are my feelings right now. Exams are the devil.


	5. Sirius and Studying

Ugh...exam day. So tiring and long...but it's one down! So that's something!

Leave a review and let me know if you have any ideas/stories you want to see this holiday season!

* * *

"Okay, so just stand over there and do whatever you have to to protect yourself, got it?"

"Yes sir."

"I mean it, this is just practice. I don't want you to get hurt or anything, whatever you have to do, you do."

"Yes sir!"

* * *

Remus set his quill down and licked his lips, that was one essay done. Now it was time for bed, or maybe a shower first.

He slipped quietly to the bathroom, grabbing his bathrobe and a pair of clean boxers. One of the few, if only pros to being a prefect was the bathroom.

God, it was like heaven to be able to use that room, the near swimming pool sized bathtub, and the water pressure in the showers.

Heaven. It really was.

Pushing the door open Remus stepped into the sparkling clean bathroom and set his stuff down near the showers when he heard a splash and spun around.

"Remus?"

"Sirius?"

His dormmate was lounging in the bathtub, skin raw and dripping and eyes tired.

"What are you doing here?" They asked at the same time, both looking slightly confused.

"I was going to take a shower…I thought you were asleep, the curtains on your bed were closed."

"I thought _you _were asleep, it's two in the morning Remus."

"Yeah, I was finishing up that potions essay…how did you get in here?"

Sirius laughed, the sound echoing around the room in that way bathrooms tend to have.

"You don't want to know."

"Right, well…" He trailed off as he caught sight of Marpey the house elf across the room looking quite cheerful. "Sirius…what are you doing?"

"Oh," the black haired boy looked a bit sheepish and his cheeks flared pink, "I was…uh…practicing."

"Practicing….?"

"For Defense…"

Remus swallowed thickly and nodded, and then unable to stop himself, "_you study_?"

Because the thought of Sirius Black studying was so foreign, so strange that he really couldn't comprehend it.

Sirius bit his lip and shrugged, "I'm not bloody perfect Lupin, I still have to practice shit you know."

"Right."

"Right. We good then?"

"Yeah."

Remus flashed Sirius a thin smile and turned to the showers, watching out of the corner of his eye as Sirius lazily launched a perfect hex at Marpey the house elf who deflected it with a snap of her fingers. And really, Sirius halfhearted attempt was better than anything Remus had ever managed to produce in his own studying efforts.

* * *

The next day Remus got up, still exhausted from lack of sleep and found Sirius sound asleep in his bed. Textbooks untouched and his essay not done and wondered if he had dreamed the whole thing.

But a couple days later when the DADA exam happened and Sirius passed without a hitch Remus was pretty sure he hadn't.

Sirius ran a hand through his hair after the practical part was over and caught Remus' eye.

"I'm not perfect Remus, remember that." He clapped him on the back, "come on, just a few more days till holiday break. We're almost free."

* * *

So...review?


	6. The Story of the Two Way Mirrors

Day six and I'm still going! Please let me know what you think! And give me some more ideas!

* * *

Sirius rested his head against the wall and waited a beat before James let out a long breath and let his head fall onto Sirius' shoulders.

"What do you want for Christmas Sirius?"

"I don't know." He answered, voice soft and quiet in the shadows of the Quidditch locker room. "What do you want James?"

James doesn't answer, but Sirius feels him shift, their bodies are knee to knee, hip to hip and shoulder to shoulder.

"I don't know."

They slip back into silence, both just glad to be in the warmth of the locker room after a crisp and cold winter flight.

"I used to know what I wanted." James says finally and wiggles closer to Sirius, his skin cold as Sirius' shirt rides up a bit. "When I was a kid."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, always used to have this list. It seemed like it was miles long of toys, and brooms and everything."

"And now?"

"I don't know…I mean there's stuff I want in life." He swallows and Sirius suppressed a smile at the sound it makes. "Like I want Evans to talk to me, not scream at me. And I want Remus to be better, and I want Peter's dad to stop being a dick."

"And I want you to be happy."

Sirius moved, resting his head ontop of James'.

"I am happy Prongs."

"I know…but you say that. And then you go back home, and I know something happens there Sirius, and you come back and say you're alright, that your happy, but I…"

He tugs his hand out of his leather gloves and graps rather despretely at Sirius', cold fingers intertwining and after a moment Sirius' thumb rubs out a small comforting circle on James.

"I just worry about you Sirius. You're not the same as Remus and Peter. You're not the same as me, and I worry."

"You don't have to worry James. I can take care of myself."

"I know, I know you can, but just because you can doesn't mean you should have too."

Sirius' thumb paused and James sighed and continued, "we're kids Sirius, we're just bloody children and we're not supposed to deal with stuff like this, my Christmas list shouldn't be made up of wanting Peter's dad to come back, and Remus to be human, and you to not get the shit beat out of you!"

Sirius stiffened and he made to move away but James gripped his hand tight.

"James…"

"Come on you fucker, we put together that Remus was a werewolf in less than a year. You don't think after five I wouldn't have put this together."

"I didn't-"

James shook his head, "I know you didn't mean to keep it from me."

Giving his hand a squeeze Sirius sighed, "It's not something people talk about really."

"I know…I just…the one thing I want most in the world is for you to be okay Sirius. I just want you to know that, because I can't lose you."

"I'm okay James." His voice wavered only slightly, "I'm okay right now, and I'll be okay over Christmas too. _I'm okay_."

"Okay…okay. Sure."

Neither boy said anything for a long time, they just sat there in the dark, hands intertwined watching their breath form white clouds in the crisp air.

"You're my best friend Sirius." James whispered, because it wasn't something that he normally said outloud, "I love you."

Sirius awkwardly pulled James into a half hug, "I love you too James, come on, my toes are about ready to fall off here."

* * *

Standing in the train compartment James watched Sirius peering nervously out the window at the platform, searching for his parents.

"Shit." He hissed as he spotted them and turned around to see James blocking his way. "James."

"Sirius." Raising an eyebrow, demanding an explanation James just shrugged and pulled his friend into a tight hug, fingers curling into the thick fabric of Sirius' robes, as if he never wanted to let go.

"James…James come _on_ mate."

"Just…be careful."

Sirius rolled his eyes, but promised all the same, digging something out of his pocket he pressed it into James' hand.

"What?"

"It's your Christmas present, open it."

Unwrapping the heavy parchment paper and badly done ribbon James pulled out a small but ornate pocket mirror.

"The fuck?"

Sirius chuckled and pulled out an identical mirror, "watch and learn Potter." He said, perring into his mirror.

After a moment his face appeared suddenly in James' who jumped.

"Merlin!"

Sirius laughed again, "they're two way mirrors, so you can check that I'm okay over break."

James looked from his mirror to Sirius, unable to find the words to describe what he was feeling.

"Thanks mate." He said finally, "Come on, we'd better get a move on."

"Yeah," they stood on the platform, ready to part ways. "Merry Christmas mate."

"Same to you."

They shared a smile before loosing sight of one another in the crowd.

* * *

So...review? Please...?


	7. Sense of Humor

Day seven...I spent most of it not doing _anything_..._at all_...

So...anyways...leave a review! This one is also based off an idea that Dr crazy glasses gave, so thanks a lot! Haha!

* * *

"I can't fucking believe this!" Sirius yelled, kicking the suit of armor in the shin and grimacing. Regret upon his face instantly.

"Sirius, come over here." Remus sighed patting the ground next to him from his spot on the floor where he and Peter had settled after giving up completely.

"No Remus! After fucking everything-"

"This is what we fuck up on?!" James spat in disgust and Sirius turned to him.

"Yes! After every goddamn prank we've pulled in this school-"

"We fail at this one because we can't teach these bloody-"

"Suits of fucking armor the words to 'White Christmas'!"

Sirius and James finished their twin speak rant, looking livid and the suits of armor behind them started up a weak rendition of 'Jingle Bells'.

"_Shut up!" _Sirius snarled and immediately they quieted.

"Look…" Remus started, he was supposed to be the voice of reason in the group, but often times he failed rather horribly at that when up against both James and Sirius. "It's almost 5 in the morning, we've got class tomorrow…"

"Yeah," Peter said weakly, he had been dosing in and out for the past hour and half and was really wishing for his warm bed right now. Even if he only got to spend a few hours in it. "Just let it go mates, I wanna go to sleep already."

"_Fine." _James muttered, looking as if it was anything but fine, Sirius didn't say anything but just started the trek back to the tower with a fowl look on his face.

"I still can't fucking believe this." James growled as he pulled his pajamas on, from behind his bed curtains Sirius snapped, "shut up James."

Remus shot Sirius' bed a glare, even though he knew the Black boy couldn't see it, it made him feel better. In a calmer voice he said, "Don't worry about it James. We'll deal with it tomorrow."

"Goodnight." Peter called out, already half asleep,feeble goodnights were sent back to him as they turned out the lights.

* * *

"Guys! _Guys!_"

"Wha…" Rolling over, fumbling around for his glasses James blinked blearily at Peter, who was still in his pajamas looking extremely awake.

'Guys! They think we did it on _purpose_! They think it's_ funny_!"

Sirius was the first to piece it together, "the armor…the Christmas carols? They think _that's_ funny?"

He and James shared a rather disgruntled look, "Geez, these peoples sense of humor is shit."

"Sometimes I don't know why we bother."

James fell back onto his pillow, a small smirk working it's way onto his face.

"Remus, I know you'll be disappointed, but I'm skipping morning potions. We deserved this."

"Amen to that." Sirius added, voice muffled through his pillow.

Just rolling his eye Remus shrugged, "I'll see you lot at lunch then."

As he walked down the stair to the dungeons he could already hear the deafening sound of badly sung Christmas carols and Professor McGonagall's shrieks as she tried and failed to shut them up.

He let out a small snicker and checked his watch, upping the pace a bit to make it on time. He knew they'd be in enough trouble in a few hours anyways.

* * *

So...review!


	8. Unapologetic

So this one is a bit longer...I really hope you like it!

Please let me know what you think so far :P

* * *

"Sirius?"

It's raining out.

It's raining out and Remus is wearing his nicest dress coat which is made purely for looks and not warmth and he's shivering in the cold london air as he stands outside of the apartment building waiting for Sirius to buz him in.

"Sirius...come _on_..."

He tucks his hands under his armpits in an attempt to keep warm and contemplates just turning around and leaving, but then he hears the click of the lock.

Sirius lives on the top floor, renting out the same shitty apartment he first got when he was broke and homeless after leaving the Potter's in sixth year. Even though now he's got an inheritance that's more money than half of Hogwarts has got, he refuses to move, giving a bullshit reason each time.

The stairs are dim and damp and there's an infuriating dripping coming from somewhere and the light keeps flickering and Remus is actually afraid to touch the handrail it looks so filthy.

When he finally makes it to Sirius floor he pauses, because Sirius has been in a fowl mood for a while now, and the holiday season has never sat well with the Black, and as much as Lily insisted that everyone needed to come to Christmas dinner Remus isn't sure she really wants Sirius Black at his worst. No one does.

A man in dark jacket shoves past him and Remus' shoulder hits the wall in the small corridor, a ripple of pain running through him. The man doesn't look back or apologize.

"Sirius, we're going to be late." He calls at the adjacent door to Sirius' apartment, pushing it open fully as he walks in.

It's a one room apartment with a small kitchenette and a bathroom, Sirius' bed sits on the floor across from a small muggle television set, his prized possession. Clothes are strewn everywhere, mixed in with textbooks left over from their schooldays and pieces of tattered parchment with strange diagrams and half written spells scribbled on them.

Sirius has his back to him, hunched over something on the old tom drum that he uses as a side table. He's surprisingly dressed, and actually looks decent, wearing a pair of nice slacks and an expensive dress shirt that must have cost a fortune.

Remus checks his watch and grimaces, Lily hates when people are late.

He's about to say something about it again when Sirius stands and turns suddenly.

Blood is flowing freely from his nose, dripping down his face and onto his white shirt.

"Do you know how much this shirt cost?" Sirius says slowly, trying in vain to stop the blood.

"What happened!?" Remus nearly shrieks, as he tries to comprehend what he's seeing.

"It cost me nearly 300 pounds."

"Sirius, what happened?" Remus repeats slower, with a sharp emphasis on each word and he pulls his wand out of his pocket, grabbing Sirius' arm.

"Oh nothing important_, just a gift exchange_."

"Sirius." Remus snaps harshly, "Let me see."

He takes the taller man's face in his hands and taps his nose with his wand, the bones snapping back into place with a sickening crunch.

Ripping himself free Sirius stalks into the kitchen and returns with a wet rag, mopping up his face.

"Who did this?"

"Reg, he was just here."

"Regulus?" And then Remus remembers the man in the hallway who shoved past him and kicks himself for not recognizing the dark hair and darker eyes and unapologetic manner.

"Yeah, better?" He asks, gesturing to his now blood free face.

"Much, why was he here?"

"Not important, can you hand me that shirt?" Frowning Remus passes a clean white shirt that was laying on a chair, averting his eyes slightly as Sirius stripped off the blood stained one.

"Alright, can we go now?"

Remus is about to say _yes, please, let's go already_, but he pauses. "Why was your brother here?"

"It doesn't bloody matter Remus!"

"Yes it does! He's a Death Eater Sirius! He's dangerous!"

Sirius rounds on Remus. He'd always been taller, infuriatingly so, and even though Remus has the wolf blood in him, he's tired and still hurt from the past full moon and Sirius is strong and he shoves him roughly into the wall, slamming him into it hard, an arm at his throat.

Pale grey eyes dance wildly in the dim light, glinting madly and it's only now that he's so close, breath hot and heavy on Remus' face that he smells the whiskey on Sirius' breath.

"I'm dangerous too Remus." Sirius whispers, voice unusually calm, juxtapose to the look in his eyes and Remus chokes and Sirius let's him go.

Suddenly he's back, standing a few feet away, fixing his hair in the broken mirror on the wall and tucking his shirt in.

"Do I look alright?"

"I...yeah."

Neither man says anything on the trip out to the country, both equally aware of that they were very late for dinner now.

It's only on the doorstep of the Potter's house that Sirius pauses, gripping Remus' arm tightly.

"Look, back there." His eyes flicker, reflecting the sunset around them and it's like he's a completely different person. "It's Christmas Moony, family time."

"I thought we were your family now, not them." Remus says coldly, throwing Sirius' own words from long ago back at him.

Sirius' eyes harden and his mouth thins, his grip on Remus' arm tightening ever so slightly.

"Not all the time Lupin."

The tone is like ice and the words send shivers down Remus' spin and he's about to retort, something hot and heavy and angry, because what the fuck happened to them? When had all their conversation been angry words and hidden meanings and half veiled insults?

But then James is throwing the door open with a big stupid grin on his face that falters when he sees them.

"Mates-" He starts, hazel eyes worried but Sirius just flashes him a brilliant smile, because all of a sudden he's all charm and warmth and he's Sirius again.

"Sorry we're late Prongs, bit of wardrobe trouble." He laughs and James laughs along with him, stepping back out of their way.

"No worries mates, Merry Christmas by the way!"

Sirius releases Remus' arm suddenly and smiles at him, the same lopsided, mischievous smile he used to wear at school. But it doesn't reach his eyes anymore.

"Yeah, Merry Christmas Remus." He says softly, almost a whisper as he shoved past Remus into James' house. Just as dark haired and dark eyed and unapologetic as his brother.

Standing there on the doorstep Remus can feel the warmth of the fireplace in James' living room leaking out as the wind whips through him and he shivers.

"Yeah...Merry Christmas."

The door closes sharply behind him.

* * *

So...review? I'd love to hear what you guys think!


	9. Enwrapped

Day nine...whew...long day for me. This one is...weird...idk. I feel like these are getting steadily darker but I have no clue why...

Any ideas would be lovely!

And please leave a review, I'd love to get some more!

* * *

The sound of clinking glasses and pompous laughter filled the ballroom and James shifted uncomfortably from where he was standing stiffly next to his parents.

The annual Christmas party was just as much of a bore as he remembered from when he was a child, except now he was old enough to be dragged into boring pureblood politics and get a bearing on just how removed these old men were from real life.

His mother laughed and he turned to face her.

"You look bored out of your mind Jamie."

"_Muuum_," He dragged the word out and she winked at him, pressing a crystal goblet into his hand.

"Here darling, to loosen you up a bit."

"Great...and here I thought alcohol could fix everything, guess I was wrong." He muttered, rolling his eyes but he took a sip of the wine anyways. "Were these parties this boring when you were a kid?"

"Merlin yes, if not more so, now cheer up, I think I spy that Yaxley girl with the big bust over there..."

"Serena? No way Mum, she's such a bitch."

Mrs. Potter laughed and smacked James lightly on the arm, "Play nice Jamie."

"I'm always nice Mum." He retorted as a hush fell through the room and they both looked up just in time to see the Black's enter the room.

Somehow, at Hogwarts, James sometimes forgot that Sirius was a Black. At school his best mate was all girls and pranks and laughter. Mischievous smiles and sparkling eyes and casual grace.

There was no pureblood supremacy in Sirius at Hogwarts, no ramrod straight spine and slicked back hair. His clothes were always carefully disheveled but there were no crisp diamond adorned dress robes and certainly no family crests.

But now...

People said a lot of things about the Black family, but boy oh boy did they know how to enter a room.

V formation, exclamation, snap your fingers in a z formation the Blacks had it covered. James let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding as Bellatrix stepped into the room, breaking the spell.

Bellatrix and Narcissa were in the lead, both unearthly beautiful, long shimmering hair and glittering eyes, their lips painted matching shades of crimson. Diamonds draped on long necks, leading to skin hugging dresses that covered everything yet somehow still showed more than was appropriate. There wasn't a man in the room who wasn't watching them, yet there was also not a single man as handsome or as well dressed and the other half of the Black's.

Sirius and Regulus flanked their cousins in matching velvet dress robes with the Black Family Crest embroidered on the chest, pearls and emeralds sew in in silver thread. Hair slicked back, tall, dark and handsome. They walked with a purpose, heads held high, chins up, dark eyes surveying the room, cutting up the patrons like meat to be served for dinner. They were oh so above you, so high above you.

James watched as Bellatrix turned to Sirius, a smile curling on her dark lips and he took her hand gently, leading her to the dance floor as the band struck up a tune just for them.

They moved so slowly, so gracefully, Sirius' hand resting just a little too low on the curve of his cousin's back, Bellatrix pressed just a little too close. Their two long elegant, cream necks drawing attention as they spun to the music. Bellatrix raised up, hand curling around the nape of Sirius neck as she whispered something in his ear and suddenly he was staring straight at James as he laughed. Not his usual bark like laugh, but something rich and tender, rumbling from deep inside his chest.

He held James' gaze just a little too long before tilting his face down to Bellatrix's level, their forehead so close they were almost touching.

Standing there, frozen, James felt his breath hitch as Sirius' lips moved, smiling as he spoke and watched Bellatrix's eyes light up and the two of them looked so perfect.

So dark, so elegant, so royal.

They were like gods together, standing there, unaware of the power they held over the room, only aware of each other, so enwrapped in each other.

And James took a step back. Anything to get away, away from those two.

Because they were perfection. Together they were perfect.

And it was always a shock to remember that he wasn't Sirius' family. That he wasn't Sirius' anything.

Just a friend.

Maybe a best friend, but still. Just a friend.

He felt his mother's hand on his arm, he could see her mouth moving, but he couldn't hear the words she was saying.

Slowly, ever so slowly he turned, walking unsteadily toward the door.

Entirely aware of the fact that Sirius' eyes weren't on his back.

* * *

Yeah...not sure where that one came from...but yeah.

Leave a review!


	10. Rebel

Day 10...so far I'm doing better than my first attempt...

Please leave a review, I'd love to know what you all think!

* * *

"Are you sure?"

Regulus hovered at the door to his brother's bathroom.

"Yeah, it'll be fine."

"Because I can cover for you if-"

Sirius flinched viloently, knocking over the tin of bruise salve that Kretcher was carefully applying to his face. The house elf snatched it out the air and smacked Sirius' hand sharply.

Both glared at each other and Regulus cleared his throat.

"Sirius-"

But his brother cut him off, "No, it's fine Reg."

"She's mad at you you know."

"She's always mad at me over Christmas holidays."

Regulus sighed, resting his head on the door frame. "Not always."

Sirius sent him a dull look and Regulus shrugged.

"I'll see you downstairs."

Half an hour later Regulus looked up as his brother slipped into the room, the family Christmas gathering already in full swing, looking surprisingly normal again. Almost immediately Bellatrix is by his side.

"Hello cousin, late to the party I see."

Sirius grimaced, "Fashionably late love, it's a thing."

"Don't fuck with me Sirius." Bella snapped as Sirius turned away from her, heading to the liquor cabinet already.

"As if I would, haven't you got a boyfriend to do that?" He said as he poured himself a glass of firewhiskey, his father ignoring the underage drinking happening in the room. "Or is Roddy not doing it for you?"

"Oh please." Bella rolled her eyes, pursing her dark lips. "Have we fallen to that level Siri?"

Upturning the glass Sirius smirked, "we'll fall to any level you want Bella."

She reached out, ignoring the way he flinched away from her and ran her fingers over his cheek. Sniffing them she smiled coldly.

"Bruise salve?"

"Yeah, so what?"

"Aww...did daddy hit you little cousin?"

Slapping her hand away Sirius scowled, "what do you fucking think?"

Her grey eyes hardened, "I think he should have hit you a little harder."

"You want to take a go?"

"That sounds lovely." She said, smacking him across the face, hard.

"Fuck you." Sirius hissed.

"You wish Siri." She popped a strawberry into her mouth, sucking on it decadently, "What did you do this time?"

"Nothing."

"_Please..._"

Sirius turned away, snagging the bottle of firewhiskey and grabbing Bellatrix, dragging her out of the room.

Together they stalked up the stair in silence.

"Give me that." Bellatrix whispered as they reached Sirius' room, taking a long swig from the bottle. Sirius smirked and opened the door, flinging himself onto his bed.

"Your sticking charms are still holding up I see." She said as she walked slowly around his room, surveying it like it was an ancient artifact to be studied.

"I told you they would."

"So...Uncle Orion..."

Sirius flushed, averting his eyes, suddenly very interested in his pillow. "There was this...uhh...mugg-" He stopped and swallowed, "this mudblood girl."

"A girl..."

He nodded, skin prickling as Bellatrix stared at him. "I uhh...I fucked her. Da wasn't happy."

Bellatrix laughed, sharp and bell like, a real laugh, and Sirius relaxed a bit.

"Of course you did Sirius."

It was in the way she said it, like she already knew...Sirius narrowed his eyes, "You..."

"Cissy told me ages ago."

"Then why-" He buried his face in the pillow, letting out a strangle yell, "You're so frustrating Bella!"

"As if you're not Sirius, _honestly_." She stopped her inspection of his room and now stood at the edge of his bed. "Budge up cousin."

Together they settled onto the bed comfortably, staring up at the ceiling.

"You're going to have to grow out of this rebellious stage soon Sirius."

"And what if I don't."

She turned to face him, eyes taking in every little detail before looking back at the ceiling.

"You know what happens if you don't."

"Yes...but-"

"But nothing Sirius! You're the heir to the family! You have to set an example, you have to fight for your family."

"We fight enough I feel like."

She smacked him on the arm.

"I'm happy Bella, I'm happy being a rebel. What if this isn't just a phase...what if this is just who I am?"

"Who you are doesn't fucking matter Sirius. Your actions matter."

"Yes..but..."

Bellatrix sighed.

"Sirius, look. I know you little cousin, and I know you can do this. I can see it in your eyes, I know that you could do this if you wanted to, it's a matter of want though. And if you decide you want your little friends more than you want your family, then that's your decision, and you can make it all on your own."

"But?" Sirius asked hoarsely, because he knew there was a but coming and only Bella was brute enough to just say things like this. To tell him exactly how it was, no sugar coating.

"But we'll be on different sides then, and the past won't matter then. You and I, we'll be enemies, and you know I won't hold back just because we share the same blood."

"_You think I would?_"

She laughed again then and pressed a kiss to his dark hair, "I don't think you would,_ at all_."

They lay in silence for a little while longer before she spoke again, voice thick and heavy.

"It'd be a shame to see you go though, you have so much potential Sirius."

Sirius turned to look at her, dark curls and porcelain skin and was struck by how much he loved his cousin.

"Is that your version of goodbye?" He teased, ignoring the twisting and turning of his stomach.

"Shut up you bastard." She chuckled and kissed his forehead.

Sirius laughed and passed her the bottle after taking a long drink from it.

He savored the burning feeling in his throat and closed his eyes tight.

When he opened them again, she was gone.

* * *

This one is a bit weird, not sure I got the idea across...what do you guys think of it?


	11. Power

Day eleven...wow this is a lot of work haha!

Please leave a review to let me know what you think!

* * *

"Hold on a second, I forgot something!" James called out as he dashed back into the apartment, leaving his girlfriend and Sirius standing in the hallway.

Sirius opened his mouth for a second, staring after James before closing it and leaning against the wall. Lily tucked her hair behind her ear and sighed.

Neither one of them spoke as they waited until Lily pursed her pink lips.

"You don't like me do you." She said finally, a statement, not a question.

Sirius raised an eyebrow, glancing down at her.

"I never said that."

"But you don't."

He cocked his head, long dark hair falling in front of his face and stared at her until she looked away.

"Even at school you never liked me."

Sirius smirked, "you were a grade A bitch at school Evans."

Lily flushed and stared at the carpet.

"Marlene was a bitch, and you liked her. You even dated her!"

Sirius shifted, leaning against the wall, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"Marlene was a bitch, but she didn't activity look for ways to put down my best friend every day." He licked his lips, "And we didn't date, we fucked. It's different."

"I didn't look for ways to put James down-"

"Let me guess...he created them himself?"

"He did!" She glared at Sirius, staring at his pale face, so similar but so different from James'. "You helped him most days!"

"Yes...and I was also the person who talked sense into him after he got his heart ripped out each time." Sirius eyed her, "You certainly do have a way with words Evans, I'll give you that."

She huffed and turned away, she didn't know why she was so bothered by Sirius Black or why he was so bothered by her. It was true that she didn't care for him much, attempting to murder her best friend (at the time) was a good way to insure that you got in someones bad books.

But even before that, even before everything, down to the damn first time she had met him on the train. He was different with her, he was. Not just different than he was with James, because...well that was James. And not just different than he was with Remus and Peter, he was...

She sighed in relief as James returned, breaking the stony silence that had filled the hallway.

Sirius Black was a charismatic man, normally cheerful, prone to fits of anger and depression, but he was always suave and charming. Always ready to offer a smile or a smirk if not help.

When he was with the Marauders he was loud, full of life and laughter, always talking, always laughing. When he was with James he was, calmer, more serious, more attentive to...everything.

When he was with girls, he was a gentleman, thought there was no mistaking his intentions.

When he was with Lily he was like an empty shell.

The lights were on, but nobody was home.

He would respond to her questions, carry a conversation, nod and smile, but it was obvious that he wasn't invested in anything. Obvious that he didn't care, that he was far away in his head.

And it bothered her, because she liked James. She had gotten over all the stuff at school, and she liked him now. And Sirius was James' best friend, he was always there, always around, and she wanted to be friends with him. She wanted this whole thing to work out, even if it didn't work out how James wanted it to.

Remus was pleased with it, Peter liked her, but Sirius...he was just the same as he had been at school.

She had asked James about it and he had just shrugged.

"He takes a while to warm up to people."

But she knew that wasn't true, because she had seen Sirius become best friends with someone over the course of five minutes before.

Remus hadn't been much help either, and she was at a loss until Peter told her to just ask Sirius. Be blunt with it.

* * *

"Why don't you like me?"

Sirius turned around slowly, grey eyes staring at her heavily.

"Because you have no idea of the power you wield over James, not even the fainest idea."

Lily froze in her tracks, not expecting an answer so quickly, let alone an honest one.

"W-what?"

"He's in love with you Evans, like head over heels. And I know you think he was just fucking with you at school, but he was in love with you then too, and he really cares for you. Like he would die for you, without hesitating a beat."

Sirius took a step toward her, towering over her small frame.

"You're all happy because this is your first real boyfriend, you're talking about moving in together and all that shit, but...look. You're in the honeymoon stage of your relationship, and soon you won't be, and if you don't think carefully about your words, and your actions, and what you really want in life...you are going to crush him."

"Sirius..."

"He cares so much about you, so deeply. And everyone can see that the 'love' you have for him, isn't nearly at the same level."

He paused, watching her in that eerie way he had when he was being unusual serious.

"That's why I don't like you. Because you hold the power to destroy my best friend and you're careless and idiotic enough to actually do so, and I can't do a damn thing about it except pick up the pieces when you're through."

With that Sirius turned sharply and hurried away from her, pausing at the door. Without turning around he spoke slowly and carefully, "Christmas is not the time to break up with someone Evans, not just James. It's just bad manners."

And then he was gone and Lily ran a hand through her long hair.

When she got back to her apartment hours later she stood by the phone for a long time.

"Hi, yes it's about the dinner reservation I made. It's under Evans, yes, I'd like to cancel it, if you don't mind. Thank you."

She hung up the phone and stared at the wall for a few minutes.

Fucking James Potter and goddamn Sirius Black.

If there was ever a pair who knew how to get under her skin. It was them.

* * *

Again...not sure if you guys will get this one...I feel like I did a shitty job on it...but leave a review anyways!


	12. The Aftermath, Part I

So this is going to be a three part series...not sure when the second half will come around...but soon I think.

Please leave a review and let me know what you think!

* * *

Sirius closed the door carefully behind him, the noise from the ruckus happening inside the classroom disappearing almost instantly.

He checked his watch, doing the math quickly in his head. Fifteen minutes, it had taken him fifteen minutes to complete his Defense final exam, with full marks of course.

Slipping to the floor he crossed his legs and settled down to wait for Marlene, she had promised him a special 'Holiday Treat' after exams were over which he certainly didn't want to miss. Picking at his nails he looked up when the door opened again roughly ten minutes later, the second person to finish the exam stepping out.

James froze when he saw Sirius there.

"Black."

"Potter."

The door swung shut and they stared at each other in silence, the hallways deserted except for them. It was the first time they had been alone together since...well...since the Prank.

James swallowed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Are you...uhh...going home for the holidays?" He asked, his mouth like sandpaper it was so dry.

"Yeah."

"Ah." He looked away from his once best friend, "because I saw your name on McGonagall's list."

Sirius ripped a hangnail off in one fluid motion, a speck of red blood growing around his nail.

"Parents changed their mind."

Silence took over again, James staring at the red blood on Sirius' finger.

"That should be fun then."

Letting out a dry laugh Sirius looked up at him.

"Sure it will Potter, let's see how much fun I'll have getting cursed half way to hell by my mother."

James opened his mouth to say something but Sirius beat him too it, the first signs of life that he had showed in a while.

"_What?_ What you think because I fucked up _one goddamn time_ that all of a sudden I'm the perfect pureblood son again? I'm just another slytherin prick like the rest of them Potter?!" Bitterness dripping from his words.

"It wasn't just _one_ fucking time Black! And it wasn't like you forgot to take notes in class, you nearly_ killed_ someone!"

"Yeah! I fucked up! I get it! That doesn't change who I am, I'm not about to rethink my entire life because I made one bloody mistake! No matter how big!"

"You nearly killed Snape! You could have gotten Remus expelled! You could have gotten all of us expelled!"

"I get that! You think I don't fucking understand that!? After all the shit I went through to clear this all up!?"

"You served a few bloody detentions!"

"You don't know the fucking half of it Potter!" Sirius spat, looking livid.

"You fucked up, and you have to fucking pay for it! That's how the real world works Black!"

"And what do you know about the real world Potter!? You didn't even ask for a fucking explanation, just settled for breaking my fucking face! You and you're perfect goddamn life!" Sirius stood suddenly, grey eyes burning, he shoved James sharply.

"You know what?! Fuck you Potter! Fuck you and your fucking life! I don't give a shit anymore!" He snarled, storming off down the hallway, trying to get as far away from James fucking Potter as he could.

If Marlene wanted him she could find him herself.

He was done with this.

Done with it all.

James Potter could go to hell.

* * *

So...part one...what do you guys think?


	13. Better Together

I just spent all day either in an airport or on an airplane and I am wrecked...so...please leave a review. Just to make me feel better.

* * *

The door banged open and Lily let out a short scream in shock as Sirius strode into the house as if he lived there. And while he spent a decent amount of time there, he most certainly did not live there.

"Don't you _ever_ knock!" She snapped in annoyance staking out of the kitchen to retreive her now crying son.

James poked his head in, "Hey mate."

"Hey Prongs."

Knowing his role, and seeing that look on Sirius face James dug around in the fridge for some leftovers, heating them up with his wand rather than the microwave Lily had insisted on having in her house.

"Eat."

"Thanks."

James pulled up a chair as he watched Sirius wolf down the food and ran a hand through his hair. He could still make out the faint smears of blood on his friend's face that Sirius had obviously tried to clean away before coming here.

It wasn't like them to hide things from each other, hell it wasn't like them to _hide_, period.

But they didn't have much choice in the matter. They had been overruled.

"Are you okay?" James asks, already knowing what Sirius is going to say.

"Peachy mate."

"You missed some blood." He adds, just to get the satisfaction of seeing Sirius' face going from pale to paper white.

Huffing in annoyance Sirius crosses his arms, "Fine, there was a run in with some death eaters. I took care of it."

James listens carefully to Sirius' voice, in case he's lying to him. They never used to lie to each other, even if it was for they're own good.

"You weren't hurt?"

"Got hit in the head some, that's where the blood came from, and took a few nasty curses but nothing that I can't sleep off."

James digests this and nods, his mouth tightening which Sirius sees.

"Jamie...come on..."

"No, I should be out there!"

"You should be _here_, with your_ family_. That's the only reason _I'm_ out there, to keep you lot safe."

Looking away, because the guilt he feels over that is unimaginable to anyone but Sirius, and he knows Sirius said that on purpose.

"But who's keeping _you_ safe? It was always my job to keep you safe, and now I can't..." He trails off and drops his head into his hands. "I just hate this Sirius. I hate this so much."

Neither man says anything for a long time and finally Sirius gets up and starts washing his plate.

"When are you putting the Christmas tree up?" He asks finally, drying the plate off in a not so subtle change of conversation.

"Tomorrow, you coming?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world."

"You can stay here tonight, if you want." Offers James, "The couch basically has your name on it by now."

"Yeah, I think I will. I'm beat."

After using the guest bathroom for a shower and a pair of James' old pajamas Sirius sits on the couch and stares at James.

"If it's any consolation, despite how shitty this war is, I wish you were out there too."

It may have not sounded like something one would say to comfort another, but it comforted James. He ruffled Sirius hair and tossed him a pillow and a blanket.

"We've always been better together haven't we?"

"Always and forever mate."

"Goodnight Padfoot."

"Goodnight Prongs."

* * *

So...what'd do you think? Not bad for being half dead over here :P


	14. The Tree

I have officially surpassed my past two attempts at this. So doing good!

Please leave a review and give me some ideas!

* * *

Sirius stared at the large glittering tree that stood in the living room of his cousins house.

"Sirius?" The stairs creaked behind him and he nearly dropped the glass of milk he had come downstairs to get.

Bellatrix stood at the foot of the staircase, her long curls tangled from sleep.

"I thought I heard you." She mused and crept silently down the remaining stairs to stand next to him staring at the tree. "It's pretty isn't it?"

Sirius nodded and Bella went on, "Mama helped us decorate it, see that one" She said, pointing to a oddly shaped gingerbread man, "I made that one. And Cissy and Andy made those ones."

"My parents don't have a tree."

Bella frowned, "I know, that why I invited you over, you can share ours."

"Oh."

"Could you not sleep?"

Sirius shook his head and looked up as Bella tip toes away, "Hold on, I'll go get Shakespeare, it always makes me fall asleep."

She comes back a few seconds later with a heavy leather bound book and together they creep back up the stair and she reads Shakespeare tragedies to him.

Eyelids sliding closed Sirius reaches out and grabs his cousins hand for a second, "I didn't like Shakespeare..." He mummers in a sleepy voice.

"No?"

"No...they were sad..."

"I like them." She kissed his forehead and tucked him in, "All Black's end in tragedy, just like Shakespeare."

Sirius, already half asleep gave a little grunt and Bella shook her head.

"Goodnight cousin. I'm glad you liked the tree, maybe tomorrow you can make a decoration for it."

But Sirius is fast asleep.

* * *

So...another Bella and Sirius! Please leave a review!


	15. Regifting

Day fifteen! Still going! I just want to thank everybody for all the reviews and keep em coming please!

* * *

The necklace was perfect, a simple thick gold band and a breathtaking blue sapphire set in matching gold. It would look beautiful on-

"What are you looking at Remus?"

"Huh?"

Sirius peered over his shoulder staring into the jewelry store window.

"That's a pretty necklace. Are you going to buy it?"

For a moment Remus sputtered, staring at Sirius with his mouth open before he pointed shakily at the price tag.

Letting out a low whistle Sirius nodded.

"I see now...enough window shopping anyway! I heard Honeydukes is having a sale."

* * *

"Okay everyone!" James said louder than he really needed to, as he clambered on top of the train seat, "it's now Marauder Morning Present Time! Everybody get your presents out!"

Rollings their eyes all the Marauders dutifully dug around in their trunks and pulled out they're shittily wrapped gifts.

"Pass 'em around!" James instructed and again, they followed with only slight smirks.

Each boy busied himself unwrapping the present they were given and ooh's and ahhh's went around with the customary Marauder thank you of either a slap on the back, a nuggie, or an actual thank you. The third one was rare.

Remus carefully unwrapped the slim box Sirius had handed him and opened it.

"What?!" He shoved the lid back on quickly and looked up at Sirius who just laughed.

"Aww..." He cooed, "you don't like it?"

"Sirius...if this is some kind of joke..."

Sirius ignored him smirking, "Well, if you don't like it I won't be offended if you re-gift it."

* * *

Remus tapped his foot impatiently as his Mother's hand skimmed over the pretty gold wrapped box, eventually he gave up.

"That one Mum."

She laughed at his tone and picked up the box, tearing away the paper and opening it up.

"Oh Remus!" She gasped, carefully pulling out the thin gold necklace, "It's beautiful, help me put it on."

"Sure Mum." Remus said, doing up the small clasp. The necklace was indeed beautiful, it wasn't the one he had been staring at in the window, but it was similar. It _was_ beautiful, Remus thought to himself, but his mother was more beautiful as she beamed at him, her smile lighting up her eyes in happiness.

* * *

_Dear Sirius,_

_Hope your Christmas is going well and your parents are alright. How's James? I haven't heard much from his recently, Peter seems to be pleased with his vacation in Paris though (I suspect it's the food). Thanks for the Christmas gift too, when you first gave it to me...I honestly thought it was a joke, that you were making fun of me or something. But then I realized what you meant...and just thanks Sirius. You're brilliant, you really are. And yes, that is in writing, and yes, I will put my signature at the end of this, and yes, I will regret this horrible I'm sure...but oh merlin, you should have seen the look on my Mum's face Siri, it's was amazing. So thanks again, I mean it._

_Love,_

_Remus_


	16. Naughty

A little late and a little old, but this is my favorite dirty christmas joke. Sorry it's so short, it was a long day.

* * *

"So...what do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa?"

"Uhh...I don't know." Remus said, a tad exasperated as James had been at this for a while.

"A rebel without a claus!"

Peter groaned and James went on.

"Why does Santa go down the chimney?"

"I don't know..."

"Because it soots him!"

"I swear I'm going to strangle you Prongs."

"Ah..come on, just one more!"

"Fine..."

"Why is Santa always so jolly?"

Remus and Peter exchanged a look.

"I don't know, why don't you tell us James..."

James opened his mouth, mirth glittering in his hazel eyes but he didn't get to speak because just then Sirius burst out of the bathroom wearing only a towel from his shower.

"Because he knows where all the bad girls live bitches!"

* * *

Review?


	17. The Aftermath, Part II

And...the second part! Tada! Please leave a review!

* * *

"And what about your eldest?"

"He'll give you no trouble."

Sirius stiffened and he and Regulus made eye contact across the table. Regulus' grey eyes pleading not to cause trouble tonight.

"I have heard rumors about him, he's not very good at following orders is he?"

Orion Black cleared his throat, "he just needs the right motivation."

"Of course." The man glanced over at Sirius, dark eyes boring into him and Sirius glared right back, the only form of rebellion he had left. The man smirked and Sirius licked his lips, he wanted to play at this game...Sirius could play.

But then dinner was over and everyone was standing, the elves collecting the plates and Sirius was once again grasped tightly by his father, holding him in place, nails digging in.

"Thank you Walburga, for you hospitality, the meal was delicious." His tone was dark and deep and Sirius nearly chuckled once he figured out what was going on, and he felt his father bristle at the implied words. Even Regulus had to work to hide a smirk.

Almost as soon as the door closed the arguments started.

"You can't _make_ me do anything!"

"You underestimate us then boy, you will do what we say or you will suffer the consequences!"

And it's then that Sirius remembers Bellatrix's words, from...what was it...last year? The year before?

_That's your decision..._

And this was it. This was him, making that decision, choosing between doing what he was told, or dealing with the consequences. And it all feels too heavy, weighing him down. Because he had always thought James and the other would have his back. That they would be there, ready to catch him if he chose to fall. But they weren't, and it's not like he had meant it literally, because he would never want them to have to endure this, his family, sitting in this house, but he thought...he thought he would still have them, as friends you know?

And he didn't.

The Marauder's were over. Done. Dust.

And everything felt so much heavier now.

And now the other side of the argument was looking so much more attractive. Wealth, power, political standing. He would have everything he ever wanted, ever needed handed to him.

"You can't just force me to decide...this is my home!"

His mother lashed out, her grey eyes wild, slapping him across the face.

"Don't you dare say this is your _home_! After all that you've done to ruin our family!"

Sirius stepped back and stared at her, because...well she had a point. How many times had he complained that this house wansn't a home, let alone his home? It was just...if he left now...he left everything.

_We'll be enemies, and you know I won't hold back..._

He had no money, no clothes, no house, no family, no friends. He would have no where to go...no place where he belonged.

But he didn't belong here either.

Sirius took a deep breath.

"I won't do it. I'm leaving."

Only after he said it did he catch the pain in his brother's eyes.

There was silence.

The calm before the storm.

* * *

So...what do you think of my poorly written attempt at Sirius leaving home? Review?


	18. Socks

And the 18th day! I can't believe I made it this far...honestly...

Please leave a review!

* * *

"Hmm..." Remus pondered, staring at the jacket. He turned his gaze to the socks Peter held and raised a skeptic eyebrow. "_Socks?_"

There was such distaste and disappointment in his voice that both men flinched.

Sirius chuckled from the couch, where he was spared the critique of Remus mainly because he had no significant other to shop for. James shot him a dark glare that promised many bad things later and Sirius shut up.

"The jacket isn't bad, but Lily has a similar one already."

"What?!"

"Yes, and if you paid attention to her wardrobe you'd have noticed and saved your money...but..."

James looked crestfallen and Sirius smirked at him behind Remus' back.

"_Socks...?_" Remus repeated and Peter turned pink.

"S-she said she needed new socks..."

"Everybody needs new socks! That doesn't you mean you buy them socks for christmas! Jewelry Peter! She wants a fucking necklace! Shiny! _Merlin..._"

He rubbed his temples trying to work out the holiday headaches and turned to James and Peter again.

"Okay...here's what we're going to do...these..." He gestured frantically to the forgotten gift ideas on the table, "are going to be returned, immediately. And we're going shopping, _together_ this time. And we're going to fucking get it right or god help me I will murder you both with a blunt ax."

"Stealing secrets from Nearly Headless Nick I see Remus."

"Shut _up_ Padfoot, why are you even_ here_?!"

"Didn't want to miss all the fun." Sirius smirked and dodged the hex James sent his way. "Coat Prongs? We need to get going, the mall closes in three hours."

* * *

And done...review?


	19. Military Like Precision

And almost...almost christmas...so close.

Please leave a review!

* * *

"Okay...a little more to the left."

The three Marauders shuffled to the left and Remus held up a hand, "Stop. Right there."

Huffing and puffing and red in the face Peter stood back.

"It looks...good." He wheezed out and James squinted at it for a moment before putting on his glasses.

"Yeah, I like it. Lils?"

Lily emerged from the kitchen with Harry on her hip. "Perfect!"

"Alright, lights?"

James was now in full on planning mode, a term the Marauder's used fondly for when they're friend got so wrapped up in the planning of pranks that he forgot to be human. It happened a lot at Hogwarts, they got used to it.

"Lights, got em."

"Ornaments."

"Check."

"Star?"

"Check."

"Okay then. Get a move on, lights first, I want them spaced evenly one half meter up starting at the top. Remus, Sirius." Remus and Sirius took that as they're queue and jumped on it, deftly following James' instructions until he was satisfied.

"Ornaments!"

"On it!" Peter chirped, and he was, almost attacking the tree as he hung the ornaments on it with military like precision.

"Star!" James yelled and together Remus and Sirius boosted Peter up and he placed the star carefully on top of the tree.

"Done! What's the time?" James asked checking his watch and turned to his wife, plucking Harry from her arms.

"5 minutes and 32 seconds." Lily replied, looking quite amazed. "That is the fastest I have ever seen anyone decorate a Christmas tree, and it looks amazing too..."

The Marauder's exchanged glances and smirked, proud of their most recent achievement.

"There is a reason we were worshiped in school you know Lils."

"I mean, we're amazing, do you not remember our prank with the giant squid...?"

"Or the end of term prank third year?"

"Or the one fifth year? That was a good one."

"Just face it, we're awesome. Done."

"Can we have hot chocolate now?" Peter asked. "That's basically the only reason I came."

* * *

Review please? Even just for a weird Marauder's tree story...?


	20. The Aftermath, Part III

And...I made it to twenty days! I'm so amazed with myself!

Please leave a review!

* * *

James twitched.

His parents had gone to sleep hours ago. He had finished all his assignments. Did the readings. Gone over Quidditch plays at least ten times.

He had owled Remus twice already and didn't blame the other boy for not answering him yet seeing as the full moon had been a few nights ago.

James had, simply run out of things to do. Things to occupy his mind, and now, sitting on the floor of his bedroom surrounded by open textbooks with the moonlight flooding his room listening to the deadly quiet of the house he couldn't ignore it any longer.

This aching, burning, pleading pain in his stomach.

This gnawing, raw feeling in his chest.

The panic and blundering whiteness that steamed in the back of his mind, constantly pushed down and away.

That Sirius was in trouble.

That Sirius needed him.

Sirius.

Finally he couldn't take it anymore and flung the nearest textbook across the room and he jerked to his feet, throwing himself across his bed his hands scrambling, fingers clawing until they touched cool metal and James tugged his two way mirror from his bedside table.

He stared into it for a moment, half his face hidden by shadow.

"Sirius." He hissed, then louder ever so slightly, "Sirius!"

The mirror wavered, like a rippling lake, and something shimmered on the other side.

* * *

Regulus snapped awake, a noise foreign to his ears hissing through the foreign room. He flinched and scrabbled around, now able to make out his brother's name, being whispered...but from where...

A small metal mirror sat on the bedside table and Regulus snatched it up, pressing it to his ear.

"Potter?!" He half whispered half whined in confusion, "what the hell is this thing?"

James Potter's face was clear as crystal in the mirror and Regulus watched as the older boy blinked slowly, obviously surprised.

"Regulus? It's...it's a two way mirror, your brother made it for..._why do you have it_?!"

Regulus' breath hitched in his throat and he took a long moment to remember to breath.

"_He's not with you?!_"

Confusion and alarm flashed across James' face and his eyes narrowed darkly.

"What do you mean?"

Taking a deep breath Regulus ran a hand through his dark hair.

"Is Sirius with you?"

"No, he's with you."

And that was when Regulus really did start to panic, his heart pounding in his chest. Because James didn't know...James didn't know about the fight, about the blood, about Sirius. And Sirius wasn't with James.

And Regulus didn't know where Sirius was.

And James didn't know.

And that meant _no one_ knew.

"James...James...Sirius is _gone_."

James eyebrows drew together and his eyes flashed, "What do you mean...?" He said slowly, voice dropping an octave.

"They...they threw him out, he's been _disowned_, blasted off the fucking tapestry._ I thought he was with you!_"

James rolled back on his feet, reeling from the information, and suddenly it was like his brain kicked into high gear, thoughts spinning around faster than he could keep track.

"He's...we had a falling out! He's not with me!"

"I know you had a fucking falling out! Everyone in the blasted school knew! I didn't think it was that serious though! I didn't think he _wouldn't_ go to you!"

"I..I...oh god...oh shit..."

"James...James...you have to find him!"

"What?"

"You have to! You didn't see him when he left, he was a bloody mess!"

"Then why didn-"

"_I thought he was with you!_"

"Okay...okay...I'll find him. When...when did he leave you?"

"Two nights ago...James...please..."

"No, no I'll find him. Don't worry Regulus."

James set down the mirror and felt his stomach twist. Dropping his head into his hands he curled his hands into fist in his hair and felt like screaming.

"I'll find you Sirius."


	21. Boycott

Bored and running out of ideas without going James and Sirius slash here...

Review? And leave me an idea?

* * *

"I. Do. Not. Know. What. To. Get. You." James said very slowly, staring at Sirius without blinking.

"Well good. Because I didn't get you shit."

They continued to stare at each other for a long moment until Sirius smacked James upside the head.

"Ow!"

"Fucker, my eyes are watering now."

"Deal with it bitch."

"But siriusly. And yes. I did just say that. I meant it too. What is your fucking problem?"

"I don't know what to get you! That's the problem! How can you not see that problem!?"

"Maybe because you woke me up at two in the morning to address it."

"Like you were asleep, I see your wank magazines over there."

"Fuck off Potter, just be glad your timing is good or else this could have turned very bad."

James stuck a tongue out and flopped down on Sirius' bed.

"But no...what the fuck do you want?"

"I don't want anything...what do you want?"

"Nothing..."

"Then we don't get each other anything. Problem solved!"

"That's...that's so boring though..."

"Maybe we're boring?"

James rolled over and fixed Sirius with a dull look. "Please."

"Fine, you're right. We're totally amazing."

"Obviously."

Sirius stared at the plain white ceiling, examining the weird water stain in the corner.

"Can we just boycott Christmas?"

"I wish..."

"Because I fucking hate this season. And I fucking hate spending all my fucking money and useless shit. And I fucking hate having pretend to be so bloody merry all the time."

"We could...just lock the door. Stay here."

"Can we? Please...?"

James shrugged and took his glasses off, kicking his shoes across the room. "Don't see why not...the more I think about it the better it sounds."

Sirius smiled, half out of relief, half out of lack of what else to do.

"Good, that's what I want for Christmas then. Go lock the door Prongs."

James groaned..."Why me...it's your apartment!?"

"Just lock the fucking door!"

* * *

And...tada!

Review? Please...? I'm begging you... :(


	22. Santa

This one is short...because...it just is.

Review?

* * *

"You're telling me kids like this?" Sirius raised an eyebrow, looking extremely skeptical. Next to him James was shaking his head in disbelief.

"They let children sit on his lap...are they insane?"

"No...no it's not like that..." Remus backtracked, trying to see where he went wrong. "He's Santa...he's a good guy."

"He breaks into peoples houses!" Peter exclaimed, "He watches people sleep!"

"Well...yes, but-"

"He enslaves reindeer!" James snapped, having taken a personal offence to the Rudolph story and was now refusing to even listen to anything else Remus said.

"No James..."

"He keeps a 24/7 surveillance on people year round...he must have so much good porn material..." Sirius muttered and Remus' jaw dropped, even James and Peter gave Sirius skeptical looks.

"That's it...I give up. You lot will never understand Santa Clause."

"Yeah, that's totally fine with me." Peter scoffed and Remus sighed.

* * *

Idk about this one...as you can probably tell...I didn't put much effort into it...


	23. Brothers

Almost there! I can't believe I've made it so far...I am truly surprised...

Review please! I'd love it!

* * *

Sirius regarded Regulus with careful caution, his grey eyes flickering briefly to the nearest exit and back to his brother.

"Hi." Regulus said after a moment, pretending not to notice how nervous his brother was now, how twitchy and guarded. Sirius never used to be like this, but things had changed.

"Hey Reg." It took Sirius a moment to get the words out, his tongue feeling thick and heavy in his mouth.

"So you're not coming home for christmas."

"Did you think I would?" There was just the slightest trace of venom in his words and Regulus flinched slightly, remembering the bloodbath it had been during the summer holidays. He was pretty sure his brother had some permanent mental issue now...if he didn't before that is.

"Not really." He paused, "Are you going to Potter's then?"

Sirius froze, as if he didn't want to answer but he did anyways. "Yeah, James' mum invited me."

Regulus made a soft noise and nodded.

"Here." He pulled a small wrapped box out of his pocket. "Your christmas gift."

Sirius stared at it, but made no move to take it.

"It's not going to bite...I wouldn't sink to that level brother."

"Right." Sirius answered, though his voice shook ever so slightly and he snatched up the box quickly, stuffing it into his own pocket.

"I..uhh...didn't get you anything."

Regulus shrugged, he had figured that.

"Doesn't matter. See you around Sirius."

Sirius watched as Regulus turned and walked away and released the breath he'd been holding. His heart pounding in his ears, a sweaty hand clutching his wand inside his robes.

"Shit." He exhaled and turned around heading back to the tower at a fast pace, eager to get as far away from his brother as he could. Back to the safety of the tower.

"Shit." He said again, fingering the box in his pocket wondering if he should throw it away or not.

* * *

So...review? Please?


	24. The Aftermath, Part IV

Christmas eve everyone! I'm so excited!

Please leave a review!

* * *

James flinched as the grandfather clock in the living room rang out, two long reverberating gongs that echoed throughout the empty house.

His eyes never moved from the large map of London he had spread out over the kitchen counter, red ink slowly spreading across it as he marked off areas he had checked.

Two in the morning and his parents weren't back yet. He would have been worried but they specifically told him they wouldn't be back till four at least, the Ministry Christmas Eve party was known for getting out of hand.

Sirius was missing and James was running out of ideas. He didn't think Sirius would have left London...and he had been going throw the long list of contacts Sirius had built up over the years of being a good looking delinquent on the streets but so far there was no sign of him. Which wasn't...terribly surprising, just worrying. Because when Sirius didn't want to be found no one in the world could find him, but...James needed to find him. And soon.

His head was about ready to explode with that painful pounding that happened whenever Sirius was in trouble, and let's not even get into how his heart was feeling...

True to his word, James had been searching London every day since Regulus broke the news...but even James wasn't dumb enough to search London at night, not in these times.

He stared the red, covering the map and felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. The gnawing worry growing as he began to doubt himself.

What if Sirius wasn't in London? What if he wasn't even in Britain anymore...? What if something had happened to him? What if he was hurt? Or worse...dead?

James was jarred out of those sick thought by three sharp knocks at his door and he jumped off of the chair, sock covered feet padding across the floor as he went to the door. His parent must have left early.

He checked the wards and then peered out through the peep hole, only to see a hunched figure on the other side...with shockingly familiar hair.

Throwing the door open James stared, "Sirius!"

Sirius stood on the doorstep, leaning against the wall. He looked up at James, shaggy hair and dirt and gave a two fingered wave, almost a salute.

"Eh Prongs."

Reaching out James pulled Sirius into the house quickly, fingers curling around his friend's thin bony arm catching him as he stumbled.

"What are you doing here?! How did you get here!?" He hissed, whispering even though they were still the only people in the house.

"Walked didn't I?" Sirius mumbled, one arm was snaked around his stomach and his shoulders hunched. He kept his head down and James pushed him onto a chair as soon as he could.

"We live on opposite side of the country Sirius."

"Eh...took me awhile." Sirius slurred his eyelids dropping down and James snapped his fingers.

"Sirius!"

Sirius made a nondescript noise and James shoved a leftover piece of toast under the other boys nose.

"Eat."

The toast disappeared instantly and James dug around, pulling out some leftover soup and Sirius inhaled it.

"You reek." He said finally, watching Sirius carefully. The way he moved, stiffly, the thick layer of dirt and what might have been dried blood that covered his clothes and face.

As soon as Sirius finished the soup James herded him up to the bathroom.

"I..uh...can't.." Sirius whispered distractedly, using one arm to gesture to the other that he had wrapped around his stomach. "It's..uhh..."

"Right." James said after a moment, figuring it out and he paused for a moment. "We're going to throw these clothes out anyway..."

And he started cutting the filthy shirt off Sirius' back.

"Ouch! Watch it!" Sirius snapped as James got to a particularly dirty spot, which turned out to be dried blood from the flayed looking wound on Sirius back. His friend's body was littered with bruises and cuts and James knew exactly what curses had been used as he got a closer look. Though he doubted they were the only curses Sirius had endured.

"Shit Sirius...what happened...?"

He got a grunt in response as Sirius awkwardly shed his pants and underwear and headed to the shower. Once the hot water got going he gingerly sat down on the floor, streams of brown and red water flowed away from him. His head tipped back and water dripped down his nose.

"I left."

James opened his mouth but Sirius continued.

"And I'm never going back."

* * *

So...what do you think?


	25. The Aftermath, Part V

Christmas Day! So you all get an extra long story! I had a lovely christmas and I'm just really pleased with how everything turned out, how I've managed to write this and actually do it this year...and I want to thank everyone who's review this, even if it was just one time, and I'd love it if you review just once...just once more!

So please do, and I hope you all have had a lovely day. Thank you all so much! 3

* * *

James stood at the edge of his bed. Staring at the lummpy, blanket covered shape that was Sirius Black curled up in a ball.

His feet were cold on the hardwood floor and his room was reduced to dark shapes and shadows with the curtains pulled shut.

After a long breath he pulled back the covers and slipped in beside Sirius, who groaned softly but didn't wake.

As soon as James had guided him to the bed Sirius had been out, in a dead sleep, leaving James to clean things up and worry. The clock on his bedside table said it was a little after three and his parents still weren't home. Which might have been good...might have been bad too though.

Sirius shifted beside him and James stiffened, but then he felt Sirius hot skin on his and he shifted himself, letting Sirius curl himself around him.

They had shared a bed before, many times before actually. When they were kids, they were technically still kids, but when they were younger. When there were bad dreams, and screams, and shaking, and tears (only from James, never Sirius) they had curled up together and talked in low soft voices. Sometimes they made up stories for each other, depending on who needed the comfort, Sirius' stories were always wild, reckless dreams with dragons and powerful wizards who went of quest to strange, faraway lands. James' stories were always extravagant, theories of the future, of the great deeds they would do, the pranks they would pull, the hero's they would become, the women they would woo and the lands they would conquer.

Now James was lying in bed with damp hair after having cleaned the blood off the tile in his bathroom and Sirius was passed out next to him, broken and beaten.

Exhaustion flowed over James like sliding into a swimming pool and he almost felt his limbs go slack, his eyes slide closed and the last thought he had before the soft claws of sleep grabbed at him was that the painful pit of worry in his stomach was gone. Because Sirius was right here.

And he would keep Sirius next to him if he had to die trying.

* * *

_Remus,_

_Shit has officially gone down._

_Like...down down. Basically Sirius got the stuffing beat out of him, I'm not kidding, he's in bad shape, but his family kicked him out, he also left at the same time...basically it was mutual leaving/kicking out, but he's been disowned, officially, blasted off the family tree and shit. Regulus let me know about it because Sirius kinda...went missing for a bit. But don't worry! I found him, or rather he found me. Walked across the bloody country to get to my house. Look...there's a lot of shit we need to talk about, us as Marauders, you and Sirius, Sirius and me, Peter, the whole gang. So...if you wanna drop by...that'd be good. Write soon please? And...just...Sirius is in bad shape...he needs us, no matter what._

_James_

* * *

"No."

"This isn't a bloody democracy Sirius, we're going to St. Mungos. You need help."

"No."

"Sirius, you fucker, don't make me do this..."

And just like that the fight went out of Sirius, his shoulders sagged and his eyes studied the floor like it held the secret to life. On one hand James was pleased that he didn't have to hex Sirius or manhandle the Black to the hospital, on the other hand he was worried. Because Sirius never used to be like this, he would have fought tooth and nail, he would have glared at James with a look like death in his gray eyes.

He used to be all fire and ice, hot and cold and constantly fighting, no matter what the battle was.

Now he shuffled around James' house like a turtle, hiding in his shell. His kept his eyes on the ground and when he did look James in the eyes, that once fierce gray was dull and lifeless and...hopeless.

They had broken him. They really had. And James' heart was breaking every time he looked at Sirius that he hadn't even brought up the whole...Prank.

* * *

In the cover of night Sirius seemed better. More...himself. James found him slumped in the corner, a bottle of his father's cheap firewhiskey held delicately in his long thin fingers. Grasshopper like legs curled up underneath him, like he was trying to make himself as small as possible.

"Eh Prongs, thirsty?"

James stared at him for a long moment before sliding to the floor next to him, pulling the quilt off his bed and tucking it around his shoulders.

"I'm going to get in trouble for that. You realize?"

Sirius didn't look at him, eyes staring out the window into the darkness. "Just drink James."

And so James did, taking a long gulp, feeling the fire burn down his throat and settle, a small pit of warmth in his stomach.

"Sirius..."

"Remus is coming soon isn't he...?"

"Yeah, day after tomorrow."

Sirius snagged the bottle again and took a long sip and James bit his lip.

"Sirius...why did you..." He trailed off and Sirius raised an eyebrow, wordlessly passing James the bottle again. After a drink James found his courage again. "Why did you come here...?"

Sirius shifted nervously and James wondered when Sirius had become nervous around him. When he had become nervous around Sirius. Probably sometime around the time Sirius sent a boy to his death without beating an eye. When James saw red and beat his best friend into the ground, just like his bastard of a father did whenever Sirius went home.

They sat in silence for a long moment and James thought Sirius might just ignore him when he spoke.

"Because...I had nowhere else. No one else."

His voice was raspy and low, scratching against his throat and James tensed.

"They...they took everything James." The whiskey sloshed about in the bottle, glowing amber in the streak of moonlight. "They...they took away _everything_ that made me...me."

Sirius took a long swig and James watched as his adams apple moved under pale skin.

"I...I was sitting there...on the sidewalk right after Da threw me out...and I was bleeding. Everywhere. And it all hurt Jamie..." Sirius shoulders shook but his eyes stayed dry and James wiggled over so he was right next to Sirius, pulling the quilt around both of them.

"It hurt inside...deep inside...and I wasn't...I wasn't right." He went quiet and James frowned.

"What...do you mean?"

"When I send Snape down the tunnel...I...wasn't thinking straight." He floundered, hands fluttering wildly under the quilt until James grasped them tight. "I mean...I meant it. I'm not...making excuses or anything James, I meant what I did. I swear...but I wasn't right. In the head."

"Somethings wrong with me...inside. And it was wrong before mum and da...did this, threw me away, but...it got worse. And I was sitting there...and I couldn't...I couldn't think straight. And everything hurt, and I didn't..I didn't know what to do."

"Because they had everything, they had everything Jamie...and I had _nothing_...and I just started moving. I didn't realize I was heading...here. I didn't...until I got closer, and by then I was just so tired...I didn't want you to be mad at me...but I was just so tired...and everything hurt..."

James swallowed and slowly pulled the bottle from Sirius' taking another long swig.

"I was worried about you."

"You were?" They're both slightly drunk now, and Sirius drops his head onto James' shoulder.

"I was always worried about you...your brother...told me you were missing, and I felt like I died inside."

"Oh." Sirius says, his lips forming a perfect circle and James pulls the quilt tighter around them.

"I felt like I died inside...and seeing you there on my front porch, I've never been so happy. _Ever_ Sirius."

"I was...I didn't know if you would take me...after Snape."

James' breath hitched in his throat, because...all this time he'd been worried, so worried about Sirius, and about why Sirius didn't come to him immediately.

"You know..there's nothing, nothing that you could ever do that would make me stop loving you Sirius."

Sirius lifted his head slightly, shaggy black hair falling in his face and his gray eyes were practically glowing as he stared at James.

"Really?" His voice wavered, soft and child like and James hugged him close, breathing in the scent of his best friend. All musk and mint and teenage boy with a hint of dog if you really stuck your nose in there.

"Really."

They sat there, finishing the bottle until James got up, pulling Sirius to his feet.

"Come on, it's christmas, we shouldn't be talking about this stuff on Christmas."

Sirius raised his eyes from the floor and stared at James.

"Okay."

"Bed." James said, and it wasn't an order, but Sirius followed it like it was one.

Lying there in the darkness again, with Sirius' hot skin pressed against his, and the smell of Sirius on his pillow James felt safe. Felt like he was officially home, with Sirius next to him.

"Tell me a story." He whispered and after a long moment Sirius started, his breath hot and close, tickling James' ear as Sirius spun tales of two wizards fighting against an unseen enemy...

They drifted off to sleep like that. Together. And safe.

* * *

Merry Christmas guys! I hope you like it, I hope you leave a review too!


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